Syria... seriously!

This will be a relatively short post. As an american citizen it is hard to see what goes on in the rest of the world because we are so absorbed in what we are doing in our own little corner of it. Most people do not understand international politics. Fortunately, my sister keeps up to date on things of that nature, she is a history buff past and present and possible future. However, our current president, Barak Obama, is pushing to strike a blow at a country for a chemical weapons strike that was preformed against it's own citizen. No one is 100% sure which side launched the weapon and it shouldn't really matter. The country is in the middle of a civil war. We should not be involved, but since we have already supplied weapons to the rebels we technically are. I was not for that move. I'm VERY MUCH so opposed to this one. I have contacted my representative from my congressional district and voiced my negative response to the possible strike against Syria as have MANY people in the US. No one here wants another war. We were promised, I did not vote for our current president, by this man that he would remove our presence from the Middle East, now we are sending more troops because this 'anti-war' president wants war. Please, those who read this from other countries, note the majority of the American populace do not... DO NOT want war. If we were to intervene I would prefer it would be in the giving aid and opening our gates to the refugees, not ending more lives.


DON'T be Silent

Leigha Cabrera

Things that make you go hmmm.

Tonight my son got out of bed and came to the kitchen rubbing the sleep from his eyes and asking for a small snack. I obliged and got him a small bowl of cereal. He ate it quietly on my lap and drank some water while we cuddled. As I sang him back to sleep I realized how much I miss rocking him in the rocking chair while I gave him his bottle (I nursed for nine months then I just couldn't keep up). I remember sitting in that rocking chair with him and praying for him as I held him to my heart while he slept. I almost always fell asleep and woke up when my daughter would come in and ask when I was going to put her and her sister to bed. Oh the small things. :) Don't worry I was never out for long and his bedtime was an hour before the girls so I had plenty of time for them.

It's those small things that seem insignificant in our lives that touch us the deepest. In retrospect I can't believe how much I miss that half hour to forty five minutes of time that was just me and my little guy. This little man who is exactly like my husband in every single way. They both laugh and smile the same and I just LOVE it. Then my son will give me looks like his oldest sister and my heart leaps with joy to see the sibling similarities.

He is a rough and tumble kind of kid, just like daddy, but inside he needs to be held and cuddled and hugged and kissed (just like daddy). He loves one on one time and follows his daddy around like the most precious puppy that ever existed. I wasn't expecting him. He was my surprise pregnancy, but it is the absolute best surprise in my entire life. His sisters were both planned, but in one day BOOM everything was different. I needed him. I needed his silliness and how he tickles you to apologize then flashes his perfect little smile that makes you melt. I needed his stubbornness and how he mimics my "no no" and "ah ah ah" when he doesn't want you to take away the cell phone he's been playing on for an hour.

Yes, my son is one of a kind. He'll dance to music and pass a soccer ball just to get your attention for a moment. It's these small and amazing things that are easy to miss, but important to recognize. Thank you Lord for my son. I don't want my life any other way! I just can't believe he'll be three soon.

Please note my son asked me to shave his head like his daddy's. When I did I got the most interesting surprise when I realized he and daddy have the same bumps and same head shape! I love it!!!

Just a piece of paper?

Marriage. Any marriage, just marriage in general is such a subject of epic proportions today that I have to say we are very flippant about it. I have heard quite a few people, and the number is on the rise, say that marriage is just a piece of paper. They could not be more wrong.

A marriage certificate is a piece of paper that is used by the local, state, and federal governments for tax purposes. It verifies that a man and a woman (and in several states now same sex couples) have chosen to live as one. One household, one income, one family. It is legally binding (look up bind in the dictionary, it has several definitions that prove interesting). Divorce is messy. Normally that is the case and it takes a lot of rigamarole to get through one. So... marriage is JUST a piece of paper. No. Wrong.

I can't make arguments with anyone.
They don't work.
Everyone has an excuse as to why they think that.
It comes down to one simple fact.
Sex.
Sex is so common now that marriage seems superfluous.
Marriage is more than sex and living under the same roof.

Marriage is simply this.
Two people (whom the government no longer defines as a man and woman) who come together to form a new family apart from the ones they were apart of.
It is a public statement to family, friends, government, and TOTAL STRANGERS that you have committed yourself to that other person, hopefully, until death you two part legally, physically, mentally, emotionally, and yes spiritually. This commitment is sealed with a kiss, literally, and signified by the exchanging of rings that says to everyone in the world that you are committed for life to someone else.

Commitment is more than a piece of paper.
I'm wrong?
Then why did the LGBT community FIGHT so hard for their marriages to be legally recognized by the local, state, and federal governments? They obviously feel that it's more than a piece of paper.

Why?
Because it IS more.
Don't believe me?
Ask one of them why they fought so hard to make it legal for them.

Just sayin'
Leigha

(PS with all this being said I do want to point out that I am a proponent of traditional marriage. This doesn't mean I am anti-gay. I believe what I believe and what I believe is this, God made us all in His image. He gave us a free will in order to choose whether or not we would serve Him. After all it is not true love if it is forced. I have chosen to be a Christian. Others have not. This does not mean God loves me more. God loves every human being on this planet the same.)

What Love is.

In Galatians 5 verse 22 Paul outlines the fruit of the Holy Spirit of God. This same Holy Spirit is what God sent to Earth after Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension took place in order to guide the Christians as they go through life. The first fruit mentioned is Love. OH my what a fruit! That is probably the most potent and sought after 4 letter word in the English language and of course it's infinite translations across the globe most of which are not 4 letters. But I digress. The meaning is the same and that is what is so important.

Now I'm not talking about the selfish I want you please want me back sort of love, I'm talking about true unyielding, unassuming, selfLESS, undying, always forgiving, consuming, beat back the lie of loneliness type of love. That is what Love is. That is the type of love people will spend their whole life looking for. Some people find it, some people never do, but don't stop searching for it, and still others give it up for a myth. It's real. It is very real. Christians should know it well, but we don't. Many of those who give up on finding such love claim Christ.

Now let me give you an example of this type of Love. There is a pastor, his name is Saeed Abedini, he is a Christian and he is in prison in Iran because of his faith. He has been beaten to within an inch of his life. He has been hospitalized and allowed to regain some of his strength, but he was returned to prison and has probably been poisoned either on purpose or because of his state of health his immune system can't handle life in prison. Now he is coughing up blood and will be fasting along side his muslim inmates as they celebrate Ramadan, which is a high holy Islamic holiday through which they fast and pray. Even though he is in the worst situation he could possibly be in he has spoken of Jesus to his fellow inmates and some have become Christians. He will be praying along side those who have beaten him and as he kneels beside them I'm sure he will be praying for them. That is Love.

(I would like to note that this man is an American and so is his wife who is desperately trying to get him back to the States to be with her and their children. Please pray for them.)

He is in the worst of the worst and yet he prays. He reaches out to those men around him and tells them about Jesus and how much they are loved by Him even though the mock and hit. Corre Tin Boom, Richard Wurmbrand, and others like them were prisoned for being Christians and treated to the worst atrocities that man can inflict on each other and yet... they prayed. I know they struggled. They tell you in their writings they struggled and saw their friends fail and yet... they prayed for their captors out of Love. Why? How? How can you pray good things for people who are treating you so bad? Jesus came to save the world through this Love and we beat him, mocked him, beat him more, nailed him on a tree, and hung him in the air to slowly suffocate to death and GOD didn't strike us down because of the LOVE he has for HIS creation and the sacrifice that had to be made so we could KNOW that Love.

Love has nothing in common with lust or sex.

This is what Love is. Love is a verb. Love is the action of placing others in front of yourself without loosing yourself. Love is giving without expecting. Love is overlooking the faults and finding the good. Love is being there even if you aren't wanted. Love acts when others refuse. Love sees past the faults. Love does not care about differences.

Love is joy. Love is peace. Love is patience. Love is kindness. Love is gentleness. Love is faithfulness. Love is self control. Paul even calls it the greatest.

I honestly have no better way to sum it up than 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes,what is in part disappears. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

As a Christian and as a wife and mother I search and seek this type of love. When I became better aware of all that it brings and stopped fighting for everything that kept me from knowing it... it changed me... and I pray that it keeps changing me because what is on the other side, even from a distance, looks pretty darn good. 

Don't be Silent

Leigha

Well, well, well, what should the title be?

I hope everyone out there is doing well today! I just wanted to tell you guys how much I enjoy writing. I love it! To write something is to experience my imagination manifested in a real way. Giving people a glimpse inside the ponderings of my mind is such a thrill. When I write I try so very very hard to give you the absolute best of what I am looking at, but at the same time leaving enough out so that you can fill in the gaps with your own mind. By doing so I am stretching everybody's creativity muscles. This is fun. 

Please note there is a difference in my writing to entertain style and writing to inform style, I like both, but I'm talking about my writing to entertain style right now. 

I have several projects that are completed, several in process, and several that are just ideas on a page to wait until their time comes. I would absolutely love to write professionally and bring in income from what I do, but right now it's just an aspiration. I do believe that one day I will, but very possibly not in the context that I am seeing for it. God's plans are after all His own and I've prayed that he guide me down the path that he wants me to take. 

It's not a crazy in depth search your soul blog post today; more of an in case you didn't know. Writing is such sweet satisfaction. I don't truly consider myself an artist or artistic. I'm just a scribbler, scratching away at my paper stack trying to bring a smile to someone's face. I think that that is important, making people smile and giving them a moment of happiness. Hopefully that moment will turn into 2 or 3 and then more. How about you? Do you like making people smile? Do you like having someone give you that opportunity to smile? I'd love to know.  (: 

Leigha

We've got it wrong... so very very wrong.

Why? Why does the church in the US and probably in other 1st world countries have it all wrong? Well, during some pretty in depth prayer time God revealed some important things to me and wanted me to share them with the as many people as I can. I blog. I feel it is ineffectual, but still, I blog.

First off my father, who is a pastor, has been preaching on prayer. Prayer is an amazing thing. I've have, as recently as Tuesday of this week, experienced prayer answered and pretty quickly I might add. This is not always the case. You can pray for years about something before God answers it and it normally is not exactly what you were expecting, sometimes better, sometimes no. Anyway, back to dad. His series on prayer has been eye opening and challenging and I've loved it ever so much.

One of the sermons was on praying without ceasing, at least that is what stuck out to me. Now I pray. I pray over my food, over my kids before they go to bed, when I read my bible, and if someone needs prayer I will pray for them, but without ceasing? No, I don't do that. Well... I didn't. BUT something clicked while dad was preaching. Something deep and revealing and true. I WANT to pray. It's easy to pray without ceasing. Why? Because God will lead you in small prayers for various people or the same people throughout the day. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I'm praying I get better and I know I will. Why? This is the kind of prayer God likes to answer pretty quick because we are asking Him to give us a greater desire to communicate with HIM. THAT'S what He wants. He wants us to want and yern and desire to talk to Him. Because He loves us.

So, Leigha, what does all this have to do with what God showed you about the church in the US? A whole lot! We don't pray unselfish prayers for others like we should. We don't practice or preach the fruit of the Spirit like we should. We pray for our finances and our kids and our kids college or for a better job or all the mundane things in our lives that are good for us to pray for, but don't really improve our lives as Christians. Our growth has been stunted and we ain't gettin any better. THEN we see how the world is living and we shake our heads and our fingers at them and say "No, no, no. You can't do that." And they stick their tongues out at us and respond, "Whatever. I do what I want."

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5: 12-13 "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked man from among you.'"

In Matthew 7:1-2 it CLEARLY states, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." and in verse 6 is says, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." (PLEASE NOTE: Jesus spoke in metaphors that were well understood in the day. I am not calling non-Christians 'dogs' or 'pigs' it is meant to say do not take things of value and put them were they are not valued)

Matthew 7:6 really jumped out at me. I treasure and value the word of God and His truth. I try very hard to live by the values and statutes given to us by Christ while he was on earth and the instruction given to us in the Bible. I fail... wow... I really fail, but I'm saved not perfect. Anyway, we can not, I repeat, CAN NOT hold those who are not Christian's to the same standard we are SUPPOSED to be holding ourselves to. To that 'enth' as Christians we should not be judging our brothers and sisters in Christ unless we are weighing their actions against the truth of God. THEN we need to get on our knees and say, "Lord, so and so seems to be struggling with this. Provide a way for them to have victory over it in Jesus name" Do so in LOVE (the first fruit of the Spirit) so that they can beat it back with a stick and GROW, God will direct them to help if and when they need it. As for non-Christians, we should be praying simply that they may come to see the love Christ has for them and for them to choose to follow Him and become a Christian (we can pray for other things as well, but this should be our primary prayer). GOD DOES NOT SEND PEOPLE TO HELL!!! HE WANTS US ALL TO BE WITH HIM IN HEAVAN! HELL WAS CREATED TO PUNISH SATAN AND HIS DEMONS, NOT HUMANS. We can address the rest that goes along with that later. It just needs saying.

Here is where it all gets tied into a neat little bow. As Christians we have preached against sin and judged others and so judged ourselves. God will measure it against us. We have been living the same way as those 'outside' the church and not repented and have so judged ourselves. God WILL measure it against us. WE are at fault. NOT non-Christians. WE have sinned against THEM. WHAAAAA?
Yes, WE have sinned against THEM. We preach and preach and preach and for what? NOTHING. They've heard it. They hate us. Our religious fervor is just like Shakespeare wrote...

...a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing. — Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-28)

People don't want a religion that points out all their bad faults and then condemns them if they don't accept it and writes them off. How pompous are we? We are all the same. Blackened selfish sinners with no hope and no help unless Christ is allowed to enter and clean it up. We have to show people the fruits of the Spirit in our daily lives the ones talked about in Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law."

Pass the word. Jesus wants you to have love and joy and peace, he wants you to experience patience and kindness, and faithfulness, and he wants to give you self control. He wants to love you and bring you into paradise to spend eternity where there is no pain or tears. He wants to start relieving that pain while you are still on earth. How bout it? Think you might be interested in that? I was. It's turned out to be the best thing ever. I don't regret it. 

I can't be silent, please don't you be silent.

Leigha

Something occurred to me

It did... something occurred to me. I was doing my daily devotions and I realized the thing I've been praying for and begging God for was right in front of me. I wanted to tell people about Him and Jesus. My answer was my blog. I have almost no hits, but people do stumble across it from time to time. Some of them even like what I write, especially my vampire story. If you haven't read it, please do, I think you might just enjoy it. Anyway. I wanted to write to you about what I learned today while reading in the Bible.

The book of Romans Chapter 4 Verse 25- Chapter 5 verse 1 reads:

'He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.'

Now what exactly does that mean? Basically if you believe that Jesus lived and died and that he is the Son of God sent here to do just that and if you accept that truth and not only believe in it but decide to LIVE in it that you will, no matter what, gain peace with God, which also means peace in your soul. Who wants to feel true unyielding peace? I do! and I have felt it and feel it from time to time. It never leaves, but because life and selfish desires and ambitions crowd in I loose sight of it sometimes, but it's never far and always returns.

 God did not send Jesus to judge or condemn. My dad said in his sermon on Sunday 'God loves people so much that he HATES to be away from them' and it's so true. God sent Jesus to earth in order that he would have a way to reconnect with you. True, honest Christianity that Christ outlined for us is very simple 'Love the Lord your God and serve him only and love your neighbor as yourself.'

I'm human. I failed. A LOT.

I was judgmental and harsh. I felt puffed up because of my salvation. I. Was. Wrong. It is not my place to cast judgement. It's God's. It IS my place to tell you how much He loves you and wants to be able to communicate on a one on one basis with you. I hear him. He does talk to those whom he loves (everyone). He doesn't want to condemn you to hell. He wants to give you more life and peace and hope than you ever dreamed of. So how about it? Does true, honest Christianity sound that bad? Are you curious now?


Leigha

Human Again... The End?

“Let me help you.” The girl bent over and helped me stand. I stared at her. I could smell her scent and hear her heart, but my thirst was gone. “You’re free now.”

“Not really.” I said slowly.

“Yes, you are. You’re human again.”

“What?”

“Look at your hands.”

I glanced down. My hands were pink and warm. “I can still smell you.”

“But your thirst is gone, right?”

I nodded.

“You remembered that drinking blood was forbidden by God and he has honored your obedience. Something unknown, because it was untested, is if a vampire who has never tasted blood, kills the one who made it they will return to their human state, but will retain the heightened senses and skills you acquired with your transition.”

“How do you know this?”

“The One who created life sent me to you. He always provides a way out. Blood is life to Him. Vampires are cursed because they drink blood; no curse has ever rested on you. The lessons your father taught you growing up never left you. You left them because you believed yourself abandoned and cursed by God. Return to Him. He wants you back. He has a path for you, use your gifts to save others who are just as you were.” She turned to leave.

“If I’m human again, how am I going to be able to save more? I’ll die soon won’t I?”

“Another residual gift; you will die, but your life span is greatly increased. Find the others like you; help them become free. Fight this.”

I considered her for a moment and something occurred to me, but before I could ask my question she smiled and said, “You can never be a vampire again and neither can you be killed by the bite of one. It’s like having the chicken pox. You get it once and that’s it, you’ll never get it again. In fact, your blood is poisonous to them. I’m done here.” She paused and smiled, “Thank you, for not leaving me.” She left.

I stood there underneath that stupid light bulb trying to wrap my head around just happened. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. I felt and heard my heart beating. It was the best feeling in the world.

Ever have one of those times in your life when...

When all in the entire universe seems to just go ptfffffthp? As if it doesn't care that you are even remotely affected by the goings on. Yeah, me too. Geesh sometimes having emotions and common sense seem like such a burden. Especially when people don't seem to care that you hurt the way they do. I'm beginning to feel like a certain busy body in our neighborhood has nothing better to do than to spy on us in order to make our lives miserable. THEN the people I work with are, well, I guess your typical coworkers. I'm pretty sure I've grated on them the way they grate on me. However, I really honestly try to not hold a grudge and just let it all pass by hoping and praying that the madness stop so that peace and calm can return. Grrr. ROAR!! I''m just so very upset by the whole thing. I guess my most major complaint is that I feel like the apartment complex that I am currently living in is being harassed on purpose because someone who lives across the street from it is sticking their nose in business that honestly does not concern them. I mean REALLY who calls the police about parking issues in an apartment complex that they aren't even living in? Then they stay outside under the guise of talking to their neighbors when they NEVER come outside of their house EVER, just to watch as the cops cruise in and respond to a complaint that they probably didn't want to respond to anyway. What a waste of their time and taxpayer money! I don't even think that they handed out a single ticket. Just asked people to move their cars. I don't normally rant like this, but I guess the moral is that if you have nothing better to do with your time than to spy on others then get a hobby. Let the people who actually are involved handle it. We don't need outside interference.

Human Again "D"

Sorry, it's been a minute since I last posted from this short story. IF you are following please please let me know. It means a lot to me that someone somewhere is enjoying my work. Thank you. 

Leigha

Human Again- "D"

Someone picked me up and threw me to the far side of the alley through the column the girl had been hiding behind. It didn’t even hurt. Next to me was another piece of wood I could have sworn wasn’t there before. I sniffed the air. I could smell Sway and the girl. She was still human. Only Riata stood between me and saving her. I stood up, laughing, and stepped down hard on the piece of wood splitting it in two. One half to flew into the air, I grabbed it.

“They were my prizes!” She screamed and flew at me. I ducked. She rebounded off the wall, flipped and landed in front of me. I looked behind her. There was a pile of smoldering ash where Eleazer had been and the wooden stake was still in the brick above another pile of ash that had been Jonas.

“Tsk, tsk. Sorry about that.” 

“Now, you’ll really pay. I don’t know how you got so fast or strong, but you will not leave this alley. You’ll turn to ash like them and I’ll scatter you on the wind.”

“Promise?”

She hissed and sprang towards me. I spun around and darted down the alley. I had to find the girl. I caught a whiff of Sway, his body temperature was higher, he was going to do it soon. I ran as fast as I could and my mind wandered back to the ally. I had never fought others of my kind before. I found them slow and clumsy. I couldn’t figure out why. If I had never fed and they did all the time, wouldn’t they be faster than me? I didn’t focus on that thought. I passed an abandoned warehouse and stopped. They were in there. Riata's footsteps were faint in my ears, but she was coming up behind me. I broke open a window and ducked inside.

I crept along the baseboards crouched on all fours, like a roach, scurrying softly as I followed their scents. It didn’t take long to find them. Sway was talking to her, promising her love and life and the like. Lies. He was trying to dazzle her and make her comfortable with what he was forcing on her.

They were in a dimly lit lower part of the warehouse; I peered over the banister at them. She was seated on a bed in front of what looked like an old walk in refrigerator where I could see four more beds. This must be where they lived. Riata wasn’t one for decorative homes like others of our kind. She had always been more about the hunt.

“P…p…please, I don’t want to be a vampire. I faint at the sight of blood.” The girl begged.

“Don’t worry, after tonight your desire will be for me and the hunt, you will no longer have that affliction.” He pushed her down on the bed. She tried to sit up, but he prevented her. She struggled against him as best she could. I heard footsteps behind me. Riata was close.

I jumped from my perch without making a sound and dodged the abandoned equipment and boxes that littered the floor. Sway heard me. I heard his feet hit the floor and the low growl in his throat. He didn’t scare me. “She’s mine!” he hissed “I’ve laid claim.”

 “You can’t collect when you’re dead.” I jumped on him sending him flying back into the edge of the opened refrigerator door. It crumpled from the force of our bodies. I jammed the stake through his chest. He screeched, convulsed and turned to ash. The girl screamed. I turned and saw Riata holding her tight to her body.

“You had NO RIGHT to take them from me.” She screeched.

“Why not? You took everything from me!”

Panic flashed across the girl’s face as Riata held her neck level to her mouth. “Please, please, help me.” Her eyes begged me.

Hey Moonlight

I came up with this song/poem the other night while driving home from my parents. I was singing it to my kids to keep them awake, believe it or not. Enjoy.

Hey moonlight

Hey star shine

Hey there lightning bug

Thank you for your glowing fun.

Lighting the night until day has begun

Chasing the darkness away

As we dream happy, full of play

Hey moonlight

Hey star shine

Hey there lightning bug

You are showing us your glowing,

Bursting, happy love.

The nighttime shimmers

As you glimmer around us and above.

Hey moonlight

Hey star shine

Hey there lightning bug

Happy memories

Heartfelt laughter

Caring hands

Held out to hold your glow

Hey moonlight

Hey star shine

Hey there lightning bug

Look at the skyline

The sunrays are finally

Rising to send you to your beds

Sleep in peace until you raise your heads.

Goodnight moonlight

Goodnight star shine

Goodnight lightning bug. 

Friday the 26th

Nothing to entirely special about today's post. I was going to post 'Part D' of Human Again, but I decided to actually write something instead. I want to write about something. However, my mind is not too entirely vexed about one issue or the other. I'm glad spring has sprung and that I'm loosing the weight from three pregnancies in a slow and steady fashion. Although that does get frustrating sometimes. You see when you are exercising to loose weight and you are female you have this biological issue... you are a woman. Women's bodies are designed to hold onto fat storage in order to better protect our reproductive systems and if we are preggers than the unborn fetus as well. So in fact loosing weight for a woman is a major issue. Ok this is great! I found something to blog about today! Yes! I knew If I rambled on for a bit I'd find something.

Why is this frustrating? Well the biggest contributor is that everywhere we look all of our advertising are airbrushed models that are probably about 10 pounds underweight (men this also happens to you) So we want to look like broom poles with speed bumps and this is not a healthy thing to aspire to. The second contributing factor is that all this fluffy adipose that hugs our curvy frames weighs less than the muscles that define it. So when exercise is introduced the muscles plump and the adipose gets used up. HOWEVER, the process, if being preformed properly, takes time. I'm three months into doing zumba on a regular basis, even with interval training between cardio and toning, my weight has only dropped between 5 to 10 pounds on any given day. At least it's dropped and hanging steady. However, my legs and arms and shoulders and face, even my feet feel stronger and look better. My clothes are fitting loosely and much more comfortably and I feel better day after day. However, my belly fat, what I'm REALLY trying to get rid of, has a death grip on my mid section and won't let go.

This is the single most frustrating thing. But perseverance is the word of the day/week/month/year. Because of exercising all of the work I've done on my mental and emotional health through the grace of God is beginning to really show. I had a physical imbalance because of the lack of activity in my life, but now I'm more balanced and in fact if I don't Zumba during the day than I have all kinds of extra energy at night making it hard to go to sleep. Sleeping is a key component in loosing weight. If your body recovers and rests the way it needs than it will function properly in helping shed all that nasty belly fat that has embedded itself around my midsection. If only it was like a zit. I could pop it and loose all the icky white stuff let it heal and then finish the product by keeping up with my Zumba fun stuff. (Sorry for the mental image, remember I'm typing as things come to me)

In truth I have every motivation to keep going. My kids have an improved mommy who is more willing to go outside and play/teach how to ride bikes/ etc etc... and my husband is enjoying getting 'the woman he married' back. Not that my physical appearance was hindering anything, because it wasn't, but it's such a motivator when he comes home and the first thing he does is check me out. It's great! Not to mention that he actually verbalized how proud of me he was for me sticking with it. Sometimes... sometimes it's the little things in this life that make the biggest differences.

So death gripped belly fat be hanged! Zumba and soon to be integrated into my routine Pilates, we shall be victorious! Now everyone go and eat some cucumbers or apples or celery or chocolate. Maybe some wine. Why? Because I enjoy these things without feeling like I can eat this or I can't eat that. I just crave the better for my body things in life now. I never even set out to diet.... just exercise. Why only exercise and not the diet? Well, in my experience diets are full of 'I can't' and exercise is about saying 'I can' Plus once your body begins to function more along the way it was designed to then it's going to want what is best for it. Things like fresh veggies and fruits, leaner meats and whole grains, not to mention dark chocolate and red wine, which are good for your heart just don't over do it. These foods are what I want now. Don't get me wrong bacon cheeseburgers are still amazing. So are french fries, I just don't want them as often as I used to.

Please ignore all the grammatical and possible spelling errors. This was a 'just type what I want' post. Hate me all you want. This is how my mind was working and this is what you are getting today, my rough draft. I have apple pie to bake for my grandfather who is visiting this weekend so I'm going to go do that now since I make everything, including the crust, from scratch. Ta ta for now. Thanks for possibly reading this and paying a small amount of attention to my barely there blog.

Don't be Silent

Leigha

Human Again Part 'C'

“So you’ve lived with this intense thirst for 170 years!” Her eyes widened and she threw her head back and laughed.

I heard a rustling behind me, then footsteps as the girl bolted from the column and tried to run down the alley. “Stop!” I chased after her and caught her before the others could get to her. Just as I reached her three males jumped down from the rooftops, landing softly just a few feet away. One was brand new; I could smell it on him. The other two were about as old as I was.

“Riata!” the one with waist length, black hair growled. “I’m done with pleasantries, can we get this over with!”

“NO!” I shielded the girl from the others.

“Oh Phineas my love.” She came up behind me. I turned to keep myself between the girl and her hunters. “We don’t want to eat her; although she does smell tempting. Are you a chocolate lover my dear?” she paused as if waiting for an answer, “Oh well, that’s ok we’ll talk later.” She looked at me and smiled, “You see Phineas, you broke my heart when you left. I created Sway to take your place.”

“You don’t have a heart to break Riata. I know that. They’ve been trained like dogs, I know you.”
            “You said you loved me!” There was a hiss in her throat. “You chose a human woman over me! Even after I revealed my true self to you, something I had never done nor ever have since.”

“You were exotic and very tempting, but I realized I didn’t want exotic, I didn’t want a cold eternity. I wanted mortality and everything that goes with it. You took that from me.”

“That’s neither here nor there.” She stroked the blond male’s hair lovingly. “Beautiful isn’t he? Only a year old. Sway doesn’t want to share me anymore, so he chose someone for him.” She paused and turned the blond male’s face towards hers and kissed it gently. “Well, I hope you’re happy with you’re life. However, if you don’t hand the girl over I’ll just have to take her from you… well, Sway will along with Eleazer and Jonas here.”

The girl behind me began to cry softly. Her body shook against mine. I quickly scanned the area for some kind of weapon to use when they attacked. There was a pile of wood somewhere I could smell it

Sway growled. “Are you going to hand her over or are you going to make me kill you?”

Death! Oh how I longed for it, but I couldn’t die yet, I had to save her. “Then kill me.”

“Really, this is quite simple.” Riata’s tone was even and cool. “She has been marked by Sway, she is technically his. Just look.” I growled at her and brought the girl carefully in front of me. She had really been crying and rain dripped from her hair. I pushed the long wet locks away from her neck and found the spot behind her left ear near the hairline where there were indeed fang marks. I bent over and sniffed them. My heart sank; it was Sway’s scent.

I pushed her back and shook her gently. “Have you ever seen this man before?” I motioned toward Sway, my eyes shone on him so she could see his face. She shook her head and blinked as she looked at him.

“Only in a dream, a nightmare.” Her voice cracked. I held her out from me with one hand; Sway came forward and took her.

“Thanks.” He said dryly.

I eyed him. The other males relaxed as soon as she was out of my hands. Sway walked her casually down the alley and out of sight, his arm around her waist. There wasn’t much time before he found the perfect place to turn her. My mind worked on a plan as I turned slowly to the others behind me. Riata was right next to me.

“Now, let me finish what I had started so very long ago.” She reached for my neck with her hand. I moved and jumped, clinging to the wall on the side of the alley near the dumpster as she turned to face me. “How did you get so fast?”

I hissed at her.

“I’ve never seen a vampire move that fast! Not even a council member.” She gasped.

“Then watch this!” I jumped down behind the dumpster, broke off a piece of the wood and sprang onto Eleazer. I jammed the stake through his chest. He let out a shriek. Jonas jumped on me from behind. The idiot made it easier for me. I pulled the stake from the convulsing Eleazer and threw Jonas off of me, then threw the stake after him pinning him to the brick wall. 

Human Again 'Part B'

Due to the somewhat increased activity on my barely noticeable little blog I'm going to post Part 'B' of Human Again. Hopefully all these hits are people actually reading this. I just wish I knew you were. Please leave a comment. Even if you don't like it. I'll be excited. Honestly my response will be 'YOU READ MY STUFF!!!!!!' :D


Human Again 'Part B'

Their smell was getting stronger and I could hear their footsteps. My hand muffled her scream, but they still heard it. I decided to turn the lights on and look at her. I could see the reflection of my illuminated eyes on her face. “You’re being hunted. Stay here.” I shoved her behind a brick column making sure the wall was at her back.

I ventured out from under the eaves into plain sight looking up towards the windowsills I knew they were crouching on. “I can see you. You can’t have her!”

“Why Phineas, you just met her.” A sly voice cooed from in front of me.

“Riata?”

“I’ve looked all over for you. Yet here, hiding a human, a marked human, is where I find you. I never got to finish with you.” Her silvery voice didn’t fool me. She was pure evil, I knew my maker. She walked into view and stood there with a smirk on her face, her red ankle length coat dripping from the rain. “You smell dry. How long’s it been since you last ate my dear?”

“Never.” I made sure my voice was cold.

Shock crossed her face, “How are you still alive?”

“I’m not. Thanks to you.”

“No, really? How have you survived?”

“Like I said, I’m already dead.”

“Most reluctant vampires die within twenty four hours of transition if they don’t drink from their maker right away. How did you survive if you’ve never fed?”

“We don’t die; we slip into a coma and wake up later on.”

“How much later on?”

Her curiosity was really beginning to bug me. The others with her had stopped their advance; they seemed to be waiting for her. The poor girl’s breathing had slowed; she must have been listening. “Can we stop this inquiry? I’d really like it if you left.”

“Why? You have no claim on her.”

I knew I didn’t have a claim on the human, but I didn’t want her to die like that, it didn’t matter which way, whether they fed on her or if they changed her, it was no way to die. I knew. “Fine, it was thirty years after you changed me that I woke up.”

Human Again... Part A

I've decided to post my vampire short story. Why? Well.... I'm not going to try and publish it. I wrote it to see if I could write one. It was SUPER easy. It was a fun ride. However, since no one ever comments on my posts and I only have 4 followers I will use the number of page views I get for it as to whether or not I should continue with the story. I will be posting it in a 'series' type of way. So here is Part 'A' (why part 'a' and not part '1'. part '1' is a bit overdone. Don't you think so?)


Human Again Part 1

How can I even begin to explain these things? I’ve prayed so many times and asked God how to make my story believable, but there is no way that any sane modern human has the faith to accept all that I am about to tell. However, tell it I must.

The beginning is too painful… I have no desire to explain that yet. So I must start at my new beginning, my second chance at humanity. I’ll never forget that day.

# # #

People brushed up against me in the street, sending pinpricks up and down my spine; their scents fill my nostrils. I’m thirsty, but I can’t drink. I won’t. They tell me I’ll die. Who cares? I’m already dead. I’m more focused on blending in and disappearing while praying for finality to this death that has already been started in me. I wish it would end soon, but two hundred years later there are no signs of the end.

“Excuse me.”

Her voice was a choir of bells in my ears.

“Excuse me!”

I kept walking. I could smell her, hear the pulse in her neck; she was irritated, though her voice didn’t show it.

“Please, I need help. I’m lost!”

“Ask someone else.” I called over my shoulder. It was raining and I knew from her scent she didn’t have an umbrella. Humans smell better when they’re wet.

“Who? You’re the only other person here!”

I finally looked up. We were the only people on this street. The shadows indicated it was very dark. I didn’t need the light. My eyes were 100 times better than any human’s. She was squinting. “Please just tell me the general direction to go to get to Main Street and I’ll be out of your hair.”

I smelled them; she wouldn’t have even known that they were there. I sprang towards her and cupped my hand over her mouth, pulling her against the wall. Her breathing grew rapid and she struggled against my hold. “Be still!” I hushed. 

Ahhh Spring... it's about time.

The other day we welcomed sprummer which is what I'm calling the week we had here that was around 90 degrees F the entire week. I even had to buy my oldest daughter new shorts ahead of schedule because it was that warm. It was a fantastic week. Now that spring has officially returned with warmish days and cooler nights I look back on that week with gratitude.

Since we are creating a race of humans that are solely dependent on computers for almost everything I have started to drastically limit the time my children spend on electronic devices, with my husbands full cooperation and approval, love that man. They must play with their toys that have been sitting around collecting eye space in my already cramped apartment or go outside. However, that sole week now has all three of them begging me to open the patio doors so they can play in the little side yard just outside our apartment. Then when it is time to come in for meals or just a good ol' fashioned bath/bedtime they stomp their feet and shed fake tears while they beg to be allowed more time outside. I smile inside while I keep on my 'Mommy said so, now march' face.

A creeping fear of mine is that they would by pass all those wonderful memories that I made growing up as I played outside during the nicer weather, whether it was by myself or with friends. That fear has been squelched. During that week we even kept our oldest out of school one day just to buy her a new bicycle and take a day trip to my parents house. Granted mom and dad weren't home, but they have a beautiful house and plenty of room for the kids to play and even woods for them and their daddy to explore. It was a great day. Sunshine, fun, and playing hooky with the permission of mom and dad and even grandma and pap.

As a society, not just our own country but globally as well, we have sped up our lives and added too much too fast so that we don't have time to stop and enjoy this beautiful planet that we have to enjoy. We say this all the time, however, it's very true. I've come to enjoy the slower pace. I don't like going a million miles per hour. Shoot, my smart phone is probably upset with me because all it gets used for is the occasional text or phone call (really I don't use it a whole lot) and for when my son plays cut the rope on it. Other than that is spends most of it's time sitting on a counter with a mostly dead battery waiting to live to it's fullest potential. Good thing it's not really feeling useless it might have left me a long time ago. Smily face.

To sum up, I'm glad I have children that remind me of the important things in this short life we get. We shouldn't try live in the moment or for the moment because then we are too busy trying to enjoy it that it's over and forgotten before we even remembered why we were trying in the first place. I feel like we need to slow ourselves down. Take some stuff off our plate so that when the moment to be enjoyed comes we won't be trying to live in it we will be living in it because those slow recaptured moments will begin to mean more than the rat race we fell into when we tripped over our smart phones.


Don't be silent
Leigha

*Sigh* I'm gonna do some footwork

I was speaking with my newly acquired soon to be sister-in-law yesterday and she has suggested I be more diligent with my blogging. I'm not someone who feels affective in my blogging and I don't have a large audience, if any. However, I want to be a published author and have at least a cult like following. Just enough to supplement our income so my husband doesn't feel the money pressure all by himself. I will honestly try this time. Last year I was a bit more successful, but not really.

This I will say. Throughout last year I have been challenged and changed. I'm not who I was at the beginning of last year and even though we are a full 3 months in to this one I'm not the same woman I was on January 1st. So many good things are pulling together to the same purpose for me right now I need to allow myself to be pulled that direction. Finally I feel like I'm moving forward in my life. For the first time in 30 years (yes I'm 30) I know I'm better. I feel better, I act better, shoot I even look better. THANK YOU ZUMBA!

It isn't just doing zumba on a regular basis that has pushed me in the direction I'm going. Although it has helped. In January I was feeling particularly down and during a moment of prayer I cried out for God to change me and keep me from feeling depressed. I hated feeling that way and now after decades of feeling depressed periodically I've started becoming more diligent in what I put into my body and how active/productive I am. The conclusion I've come to is that I was too sedentary. I wasn't allowing myself to function and I sat around feeling sorry for myself, which is REALLY depressing. Then as I was reading 'Farmer Boy' from the 'Little House on the Prairie' books I've noticed things that they did on a daily basis and things his father said to him as he grew up line up with what I've learned lately and light bulbs are turing on all over the house that is my brain. His father is always pointing him the direction of most resistance in order for him to grow into a productive responsible adult. He offers both the harder and easier road and then let's his son choose for himself. The son almost always chooses to work for the greater result instead of the instant pleasure. SO here is the long and the short of it. I'm going to do the hard work in order to gain the greater result. I don't know how, but if it works with me doing zumba and slowly chipping away at the weight I never lost from my pregnancies then it will work with everything else too, right?

My parents taught me this growing up, but I forgot it somewhere along the line because I was too busy getting what I wanted all the time. I'm just happy I was reminded before it was too late to teach it to my children.

Don't Be Silent
Leigha

btw please check out my brother and sister-in-law Emy&Ethan. They are highly talented and fashionable to boot. :)